Garbage Pail Kids

Garbage Pail Kids should have come with onion flavored chewing gum.

Entertainment at the Airport

Movie theaters show something called "The Twenty" for the 20 minutes before a movie to entertain the audience and give people on dates something to talk about. I think that airlines should employ a similar tactic on planes for people who are forced to wait on the runway for 4 hours before they take off.

Great Idea I Had

I would sell chewing sticks for dogs for 50 cents each. I might even fire harden them to make them last a little longer.

Sprite's Original Marketing Campaign

Sprite was originally marketed to consumers who were concerned about staining their clothes with caramel color.

Dial-A-Stripper

If I owned a stripper service I would call it Topless Liaisons

Pizza Crusts

There are two kinds of people in this world, people who eat pizza crusts and people who don't. I am not interested in the latter. For those people who eat pizza crusts, I have a brilliant product idea...toaster oven pizza crusts. They would be a 6 inch by 1 inch toastable bread stick. The sticks would be dipped horizontally into tomato sauce and then sprinkled with mozzarella cheese. After being toasted for a few minutes, they would come out crispy and delicious.

Look for them in your grocer's freezer section.

I love donuts

I love donuts. I can think of no better friends than a dozen of them.

If I had a sausage company...

If I had a sausage company, my slogan would be:

"Our Wurst is the best!"

Marketers are Missing the Boat Big Time

If I were to tell you that here is a holiday that combines the alcohol consumption of St. Patrick's Day with the costumes of Halloween and a sprinkle of fantastic cookies, I imagine that your immediate response would be "Tell me more."

Friends, there is such a holiday.

It is Purim.

Consider the marketing possibilities; cookies, alcohol and costumes!!! It's a triple-threat.

Although it just passed, I urge you, mark your calendars, February 28th, 2010.

Enjoy the Hamentaschen. I'm dressing up as Queen Esther next year.