Cargo Shorts

Cargo shorts are totally unacceptable. No one needs that many pockets.

Why did little boys wear dresses?

Until the early 20th century little boys wore dresses just as often as little girls because there was no means of mass production for children's clothing. At the time, parents had many children, and had to reuse clothing. As pants aren't ladylike, dresses became the default. Franklin Roosevelt

This Just In...

Peep-toe boots are dumb.

Shorts and Sneakers are Unacceptable in Paris

As Paris is the fashion city, shorts and sneakers are unacceptable there. Fanny packs are still cool though.

I am so glad this style is back

I love that the 60's style pocket square is back. Walking around the city makes me feel like I'm in the cast of Quiz Show.

Uggs in the Summer?!!?!?

Ugg Boots are unacceptable footwear when the average temperature is over 60 degrees.

Is this hat coming back?!?!?!

Is this hat coming back? I saw 4 hipsters in them today. Debbie (Deborah) Gibson stopped wearing them in 1989.

French Pedicured Toes Are Gross!!!

A French manicure requires nails to be long enough for the tips to be a different color from the rest of the nail. French pedicures therefore require the toenails to be too long and therefore...gross.

Mustaches

Just because the beard is popular again does not mean it's time for mustaches...let's not get carried away.

Mary Jane Clogs

No matter how much your clogs look like Mary Janes, they are still clogs.

Culottes Are Dumb

Culottes are dumb. Either wear a skirt or pants.

Blue Eye Shadow?

Blue eye shadow? That didn't even look good when Debra Winger wore it in Urban Cowboy.

Bubble Hem

Bubble Hem Dress=Big Fat Ass

Can I wear sunglasses exclusively?

I wear glasses, I also require prescription sunglasses. If I could wear sunglasses at all times, it would significantly reduce my pocket size. At the end of the day, it's all about reducing pocket size.

Match the Tie to the Socks

I am not concerned with matching my tie to my suit. Instead, I match my tie to my socks.

Jackass Haiku - Someone I Saw at the Time Warner Center

Masai Shoes No Way
Acid Washed Jeans Oh My Lord
Odder Combo? None

Completely Unacceptable

Short sleeve dress shirts are completely unacceptable.

Bugle Boy Jeans

If you have an original pair of Bugle Boy Jeans, I bet they would be worth a lot of money.

Is the vest coming back?

I have seen like 5 people wearing vests in the past couple of days...Seriously?!!?!

When will people realize?

When will people realize that backpacks are for children and hikers?