Avocados

In the 13th Century, avocados were used as currency by the Mayans as they were so plentiful in Central America. Unfortunately, their exchange rate wasn't very high. In order to carry enough avocados for a day's worth of living expenses, Mayans had to be very strong. Paydays were really tough too. Most Mayans agreed that the toughest part about having avocados as your main currency was the possibility that your pocket change would go bad if left in enclosed containers for too long.

Muffins were necessary for health in the 70's

In the 70's, when cereal commercials used to say "part of your nutritious breakfast", Cocoa Puffs used to show a double chocolate chip muffin instead of toast with the bowl of cereal, the glass of orange juice and the glass of milk

The Bonfire was invented in France

Little known fact, while the large fire has been around since the dawn of man, referring to it as a bonfire is a tradition born during the French revolution. In French, the Bonfeu or "Good Fire", was term used when peasants would sit around after guillotining the nobility and roast saucisson over the embers of purloined firewood.

 

Monadnock Building...Ha!

Most people think that the Monadnock building in Chicago was the first known skyscraper. They are wrong, the Kansas City Mutual Building, in Kansas City, MO was the first skyscraper, it was 7 stories high...hence the song in Oklahoma!

Ugly Buttons Require Neckties

In the 19th century, times were tough, clothing was scarce. A man might have two shirts. People had to make do by constantly replacing lost buttons and fixing frayed plackets because of significant wear and tear. Enter the necktie, which served to cover the damaged plackets and mismatched buttons that were common at the time.

Conversations with my wife

Ari: Do you like my new socks?
Lisa: Yes!
Ari: Are you jealous?
Lisa: no, why?
Ari: Oh you sounded very enthusiastic
Lisa: Did you get anything else?
Ari: Some other awesome socks, boxers and a belt; I was considering shoes but decided against it for now. I figured if I went back today and they were still there it was meant to be
Lisa: What are you a Disney princess?

Flog

We all know golf, the sport of kings was invented in Scotland in 1867 at St. Andrew's Country Club. What most people don't know is that in Wales, in 1875, flog, the sport of jesters was invented at St. Arnold's Country Club. While a golfer uses 14 clubs to move a ball from one point into a hole roughly 350 yards away, a flogger uses a large paddle to push the ball a similar distance. The flog ball must remain on the ground at all times or the flogger is penalized a stroke. There are still water hazards and sand traps. Since the hole is still about 350 yards from the tee box, the average round of flog takes about 3 days. No breaks are permitted.

Also a flog ball is always green and always features a moose. Determining who has which ball can be difficult.

Flog is not very popular.

The Water Diet

A friend of mine lost like 30 lbs on the water diet. Basically, he drinks only water for 6 days a week then pigs out on whatever he wants on the 7th day.

Nice work Justin...you're killing it.

Caligula

Lisa: It is well known that Caligula had intimate relations with a horse

Ari: Actually that was Catherine the Great.

Laundry Detergent

Equal parts hand sanitizer, baking soda and flour make a very effective laundry detergent. If you replace the flour with powdered soap, you have a fantastic deodorant...give it a try.

   

Red Hair

People with red hair are more often drawn to red things. Fire trucks, red nail polish, communism, you get the idea.

My Best Skill

The thing that I am best at? Recognizing famous voices in voice overs.

A new look at Sangria

I imagine that Manischewitz would be the ideal wine to use in Sangria. The name of sangria that utilizes Manischewitz? The Juan Epstein.

The First Electric Toothbrush

The first electric toothbrush, the Dentacleanomatic was invented in 1893. The inventor, Alexander Dentin was killed in it's first use when he stuck the electric implement under water and into his mouth. The first working, waterproof electric toothbrush wasn't developed until 1910 after many unfortunate failed tests.

Goats

As they require little fuel and upkeep, goats are a fantastic lawn care alternative to lawnmowers.

Cargo Shorts

Cargo shorts are totally unacceptable. No one needs that many pockets.

Hedgehogs

The hedgehog or Porcus shrubbus has a diet largely consisting of mushrooms and turtle meat. They are primarily indigenous to New Zealand. The largest hedgehog on record, found in 1992 was 27 kg. Its most striking characteristic is its blue color. Most hedgehogs do not wear sneakers.

Pinocchio

Pinocchio is Italian for penis nose.

Tourist sandals

Babies and tourists wear the same kind of sandals. 

Vacuum packed coffee

Coffee, while in its air tight vacuum pack has no determined lifespan...like lobster