Shorts and Sneakers are Unacceptable in Paris

As Paris is the fashion city, shorts and sneakers are unacceptable there. Fanny packs are still cool though.

Drowning Doesn't Look Like Drowning

To be safe, it's best to rescue anyone who is in the water. Don't discriminate, you can drown in 2 inches of water.
No Horseplay!

Coleslaw

My sister-in-law suggested the post be "it's called coleslaw because people from the South cannot pronounce 'cold slaw'." I didn't want to write that because I don't like to make fun of people.
Everyone knows coleslaw is German for finely sliced cabbage...it was originally served warm. Bacon fat was used instead of mayonnaise.

No Such Thing as Poisonous Berries

There are no poisonous berries...only berries that don't taste good and make you throw up.